Called Into Deeper: Friendship with God in the Place of Shame

“God-friendship is for God-worshipers; They are the ones he confides in.” – Psalm 25:14 (MSG)

Lately, I’ve been sitting with a few uncomfortable questions—questions that stir something deep and sacred in me: Am I hiding any part of myself from Jesus?Am I responding to Him as a beloved daughter and friend—or as a slave, a servant, a victim? Am I showing up in intimacy, or am I still holding back in fear?

The truth is, there are still tender places in my heart—places where pain lingers like a shadow. One of those places has been body shame.

It’s been a heavy, painful road. My body has felt like a battlefield—criticized, judged, and, at times, abused. I’ve learned to hide it. I’ve punished it. I’ve viewed it as something that needs to be fixed, cleaned up, or at the very least, made invisible. There’s been an ache in me—a desire to escape the conversation altogether, because in this area, I’ve felt like I’ve failed. I’ve failed to meet the standards, failed to change, failed to be enough.

But in the quiet, when I sit with God, I’m starting to hear something different. I’m reminded: My body is not broken. It is not dirty. It is not a problem.

It is a temple. A gift. A vessel through which I get to live out God’s beautiful purpose for my life.

The world may measure worth through weight, symmetry, smoothness, or strength. But God? He has always looked at the heart. He has always looked at me. And He’s never turned away.

He’s not after perfection.

He’s not waiting for me to get it together.

He just wants me.

To walk with me.

To laugh with me.

To hug me.

To comfort me.

To whisper His secrets in the silence.

To call me friend.

Psalm 25:14 says that God confides in His friends. That means He shares the hidden things—the deep things—with those who draw near in reverence and love. Not because we’re perfect, but because we’re open. Because we want Him more than we want to hide.

And the more I hear Him calling me into deeper intimacy, the more I realize: He wants me to show Him more of myself.

Even the scared parts.

Even the ashamed parts.

Even the parts I’ve tried to keep hidden—even from myself.

If I’m honest, I’m still afraid sometimes. Afraid of uncertainty. Afraid of not being enough. Afraid of surrendering control.

But here’s the deeper truth:

I’m more afraid of living without Him.

I don’t want to miss His voice.

I don’t want to stay shallow when He’s calling me deeper.

I don’t want to walk through life without the intimacy of His friendship.

I want to laugh with Him.

I want to cry with Him.

I want to see the world through His eyes.

I want to be unashamed in His presence, free and full of joy, knowing that He’s not asking me to fix myself—just to be with Him.

So here I am, Lord.

Still learning.

Still healing.

Still letting go.

But here.

Open.

Ready.

Show me Your secrets. Call me Your friend. I’m choosing deeper.